Jokesforever.in having a huge collection of Funniest jokes . Here we provide you best funny English jokes in English language. You can share with your friends on Facebook , Whatsapp and many more social networking sites . There is a list of best English jokes that can make you laugh and smile and you will forget your worries, sorrows ,hardships and toils of your life . Impress your friends and every one around you by sharing these best English jokes collection . I hope you all friends like our this collection and share this with your friends .
List of best English jokes:
Girl : How much for this mirror ?
Shopkeeper : Rs1000.
Girl : Its very costly .
What’s so unique in the mirror ?
Shopkeeper : If you drop it from 100th floor
it will not break till 99th floor .
Girl : WOW! Please pack this.😜😆😂😁
A man walking down the street sees another
man with a very big dog one man says to the
” Does your dog bite”
the man replies ” No my dog doesn’t ” tha man
pats the dog and has his hand bitten off ,
“I thought you said your dog didn’t bite ” said
the injured man.
‘ Thats not my dog ‘
replied the other 😜😆😂😁
A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed
exam . Her husband sent telegram to her parents:
Ruby First class in Bed !😜😆😂😁
I wrote your name on sand , it got washed .I wrote your name is air , it was blown away .
I wrote your name on my heart ,And i got a heart attack .
Man runs home shouting : Pack your bags darling .
i just won 10 million .
Wife : Do i pack for the beach or mountains ?
Man : Who cares ? Just pack and go back to
your mother .😜😆😂😁
One day a man calls his wife from his IDEA
mobile , his call gets cross connected to some other lady .
They still keep on talking . They start liking each other .
And finally they get married .
What moral do you get ?
An IDEA can change your life .😜😆😂😁
Wife : Darling today is our anniversary , what
should we do ?
Husband : Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes .😜😆😂😁
Why should do couples hold hands during their wedding ?
Its formality just like two boxers shaking hands before
the fight begins !!!😜😆😂😁
According to a research 87% of young people
have back pain .
The other 13% have no Computer .
I am looking for a Bank
Which can perform two things for me .😜😆😂😁
Give me a loan,
then Leave me alone .😜😆😂😁
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this
farmer over and said :
Sir do you realize your wife fell out of the car
several miles back ?
To which the farmer replied :
Thank God ! thought I had gone deaf !!😜😆😂😁
Two terrorist having discussion in a bar. The
waiter asks them what the discussion was about ?
Terrorist : We are planning to kill 14 thousand
people and a donkey .
waiter : Why a donkey ?
Terrorist : Then one terrorist says to the other :
See i told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand
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Whats the height of hope ?
It Is : sit in the exam hall ,
hold in the question paper in hand
and telling your self
” Dude , don’t worry .
Exams will get postponed !
A student is talking to his teacher .
Student : Would you punish me for something
i didn’t do ?
Teacher : of course not !
Student : Good , because I haven’t done my
How to kill a mosquito ?
Catch it alive ,
Tie its legs ,
Then make gugudi in its stomach
and when it laughs,
Catch its mouth
and pour a spoon of poision .😜😆😂😁
Son : Mom, when i was on the bus with
dad this morning , he told me to
give up my seat to a lady .
Mom : Well , you have done the right thing ?
Son : But Mom , I was sitting on daddy’s lap .😜😆😂😁
If your world is spinning around
your heart is beating fast
Do you think its love ?
No baby No….
Its called High Blood Pressure .😜😆😂😁
Girlfriend : And are you sure
you love me and no one else ?
Boyfriend : Dead sure !!
I checked the whole list again yesterday .😜😆😂😁
Tom : How should i convey the news
to my father that i have failed ?
David : You just send a telegram ,
Result declared , past year’s performance
Father : Whenever i beat you ,
you don’t get annoyed ,
how much you control your anger ?
Son : I start cleaning the toilet seat
with your toothbrush .😜😆😂😁
Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a
Banta : What would you do if tthe bomb
explodes while fixing ?
Santa : Don’t worry , I have a one more .😜😆😂😁
Hard Facts :
You can control your breathe but not death, You can control your life but not wife ,
You can control your emotions but not loose motion.
A banker is a fellow who lends you
his umbrella when the sun is shinning ,
But wants it back the minute it begin rain.😜😆😂😁
A father asks peon : How are the studies
in this college ? Where do i see my son
in future ?
Peon : The future is bright , I had also
completed my engineering from the same college !😜😆😂😁