Funny Jokes in English having a huge collection of Funniest jokes . Here we provide you best funny English jokes in English language. You can share with your friends on Facebook , Whatsapp and many more social networking sites . There is a list of best English jokes that can make you laugh and smile and you will forget your worries, sorrows ,hardships and toils of your life . Impress your friends and every one around you by sharing these best English jokes collection . I hope you all friends like our this collection and share this with your friends .

Funny jokes in english

List of best English jokes:

Girl : How much for this mirror ?

Shopkeeper : Rs1000.

Girl : Its very costly . 

What’s so unique in the mirror ?

Shopkeeper : If you drop it from 100th floor

it will not break till 99th floor .

Girl : WOW! Please pack this.😜😆😂😁

A man walking down the street sees another 

man with a very big dog one man says to the 


” Does your dog bite”

the man replies ” No my dog doesn’t ” tha man 

pats the dog and has his hand bitten off ,

“I thought you said your dog didn’t bite ” said 

the injured man.

‘ Thats not my dog ‘

replied the other 😜😆😂😁

A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed

exam . Her husband sent telegram to her parents:

Ruby First class in Bed !😜😆😂😁

I wrote your name on sand , it got washed .I wrote your name is air , it was blown away .

I wrote your name on my heart ,And i got a heart attack .

Man runs home shouting : Pack your bags darling .

i just won 10 million .

Wife : Do i pack for the beach or mountains ?

Man : Who cares ? Just pack and go back to 

your mother .😜😆😂😁

One day a man calls his wife from his IDEA 

mobile , his call gets cross connected to some other lady .

They still keep on talking . They start liking each other .

And finally they get married .

What moral do you get ?

An IDEA can change your life .😜😆😂😁

Wife : Darling today is our anniversary , what 

should we do ?

Husband : Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes .😜😆😂😁

Why should do couples hold hands during their wedding ?

Its formality just like two boxers shaking hands before 

the fight begins !!!😜😆😂😁

According to a research 87% of young people 

have back pain .

The other 13% have no Computer .

I am looking for a Bank

Which can perform two things for me .😜😆😂😁

Give me a loan,


then Leave me alone .😜😆😂😁

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this 

farmer over and said :

Sir do you realize your wife fell out of the car 

several miles back ?

To which the farmer replied :

Thank God ! thought I had gone deaf !!😜😆😂😁

Two terrorist having discussion in a bar. The 

waiter asks them what the discussion was about ?

Terrorist : We are planning to kill 14 thousand 

people and a donkey .

waiter : Why a donkey ?

Terrorist : Then one terrorist says to the other :

See i told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand 

people .😜😆😂😁

Check out more:

Whats the height of hope ?

It Is : sit in the exam hall ,

hold in the question paper in hand 

and telling your self 

” Dude , don’t worry .

Exams will get postponed !

A student is talking to his teacher .

Student : Would you punish me for something 

i didn’t do ?

Teacher : of course not !

Student : Good , because I haven’t done my 

home work.😜😆😂😁

How to kill a mosquito ?

Catch it alive ,

Tie its legs ,

Then make gugudi in its stomach 

and when it laughs,

Catch its mouth 

and pour a spoon of poision .😜😆😂😁

Son : Mom, when i was on the bus with 

dad this morning , he told me to 

give up my seat to a lady .

Mom : Well , you have done the right thing ?

Son : But Mom , I was sitting on daddy’s lap .😜😆😂😁

If your world is spinning around 


your heart is beating fast 

Do you think its love ?

No baby No….

Its called High Blood Pressure .😜😆😂😁

Girlfriend : And are you sure 

you love me and no one else ?

Boyfriend : Dead sure !!

I checked the whole list again yesterday .😜😆😂😁

Tom : How should i convey the news 

to my father that i have failed ?

David : You just send a telegram ,

Result declared , past year’s performance 

repeated .😜😆😂😁

Father : Whenever i beat you ,

you don’t get annoyed ,

how much you control your anger ?

Son : I start cleaning the toilet seat 

with your toothbrush .😜😆😂😁

Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a 

car .

Banta : What would you do if tthe bomb 

explodes while fixing ?

Santa : Don’t worry , I have a one more .😜😆😂😁

Hard Facts : 

You can control your breathe but not death, You can control your life but not wife , 

You can control your emotions but not loose motion.

A banker is a fellow who lends you 

his umbrella when the sun is shinning ,

But wants it back the minute it begin rain.😜😆😂😁

A father asks peon : How are the studies 

in this college ? Where do i see my son 

in future ?

Peon : The future is bright , I had also 

completed my engineering from the same college !😜😆😂😁